Lithuanian Wedding

I flew back to Lithuania to get married to my Lithuanian fiancé I met three years ago in Washington, DC. The unusual way we met…. At that time I was working at the Lithuanian Embassy and was asked to represent Lithuania at a Cherry Blossom Festival. My role as a cherry blossom princess was to participate in week-long social and cultural events with other cherry blossom princesses: young talented ladies from different US states, chosen by the National Conferences of State Societies, and representatives of foreign countries selected by diplomatic missions. The highlights of the Cherry Blossom Program included being escorted everywhere by police, meeting Laura Bush at the White House, attending a reception with congressmen at the Capitol, participating in a Parade and attending a Grand Ball. The latter was a reason of why I met my husband...

Most of the princesses were escorted by young men from the Naval Academy of Annapolis to the Ball. Therefore, it was arranged by my Embassy that my escort would be a Lithuanian former cadet, who graduated from this Academy. He fulfilled his “mission” properly and looking dashing in the Lithuanian Navy uniform escorted me dressed up in a white dress and long gloves to the Ball. The white dress predicted of what was yet meant to come…

We held a traditional wedding celebration with international guests. I wore a Vera Wang designer dress of my dreams, which I unexpectedly bought for a fraction of an original price at the famous annual Bridal Gown Sale at the Filene‘s Basement ironically nicknamed "Running of the brides." Our bridesmaids and groomsmen from the US, England, New Zealand, Spain and Republic of Georgia were pleasantly surprised by our celebration full of Lithuanian customs remaining from old times.

The traditional Lithuanian marriage ceremony features the so called matchmakers, who organize the rituals and overall structure of the wedding. In the past, sometimes the father of a prospective groom used to hire the services of a matchmaker to find a suitable wife for his son. At our wedding, the “matchmakers” were my eloquent aunt and uncle, who did an amazing job in organizing everything with many unexpected surprises.

The ceremony began in the morning when the groom and his attendants arrived at the bride’s home (in my case it was my aunt’s house since my parents live 215 km away). The wreath of rue, representing chastity, youth and carefree young days, was attached to my veil. Before leaving for church, my parents blessed me and my husband to be and I said good-bye to my assembled family and home.

After the church, the bridal party went in horse drawn carriages to the park and the Baltic Sea to take pictures. The bridesmaids loved the Lithuanian tradition that the groomsen had to carry them over the bridge taking example from a groom carrying the bride.

When the wedding party arrived at the reception location, we discovered that the entrance was blocked. The matchmaker and groomsmen had to ransom the way by handing out candy or bottles of “refreshments”. In addition, the bride and groom had to pass various tests organized by the guests to verify that they were well-prepared for married life.

Then we were met by all four parents, on a plate holding a slice of bread, a pinch of salt and a glass of water decorated with rue, symbols of joy, tears, and work, the three elements of a life together. The parents welcomed the newlyweds, who broke off a morsel of bread, dipped it in salt, ate it and then took a sip of water.

As soon as the wedding party arrived at their table another surprise awaited them – a fake wedding party (a man dressed as a bride and a woman dressed as a groom) has occupied their seats. Now the table had to be ransomed. The matchmakers explained that this as their table, while the pretenders argued that they were here first, were comfortably seated and would stay throughout the reception. After a while of innovative haggling, the fake wedding party gave way to the real bride and groom and after the wedding party took their places, the reception started.

The festivities were conducted by matchmakers, who entertained, invited everyone to eat and drink, especially to the health of newlyweds. Throughout the wedding feast, special ceremonies and toasts accompanied by matching songs were sung. During the meal someplace, the guests started singing a popular wedding song about bitter whiskey but if the newlyweds would kiss, it would turn sweeter so we had to kiss a number of times and the guests were asked for assistance to show us the right way.

Another custom was that our parents presented us the symbolic hearth representing the fire from their home to start the fire in the new home of the bride and groom.

Midway through the reception, the time arrived to remove my wreath, symbolizing the bride’s disposal of the symbol of her youth in favor of the wedding band.

Afterwards, modern customs followed: the dance of the bride and groom, fireworks display, cutting of the cake, and dancing into wee hours of the morning after the bride and groom were wished a good night.

Next morning, the bride and groom along with the wedding party were woken up by matchmakers and musicians. Matchmakers gave guests to try the cheese that we supposedly "pressed" throughout the night (since cheese is pressed from curd it had to be a proof that newlyweds had an good night together).

At some point during the second day the bride was stolen and the groom, matchmaker and groomsmen had to find the bride.

More entertainment for the guests was the show of the matchmaker’s trial. The matchmaker was sentenced because he was accused of lying to the bride about the groom. The whole trial was entertaining and included declaring funny accusations and reading the absurd will of the matchmaker. The bridesmaids were supposed to cry and plead since they would never get married. The culmination of the whole show was that the bride saved the matchmaker since she loved the groom and did not care that he did not own any riches the matchmaker had lied about.

We even celebrated a third day of our wedding, which was already going beyond Lithuanian wedding traditions. We wanted to spend more time with our friends who came from far away. Thus, we went to a Lithuanian traditional village location where we enjoyed sauna, swam in a pond, played games and slept in log houses.